MISS HIM A LOT THESE DAYS. I THINK THAT’S PROBABLY WHY I'M A LITTLE EMOTIONAL FROM TIME TO TIME; ESPECIALLY NOW BECAUSE WITH THE WEDDING COMING ALONG THIS YEAR. I KNOW THAT HE WOULD BE PROUD OF ME FINDING SOMEONE SO PERFECT FOR ME LIKE DARCY, AND HE WOULD MAKE DAMN SURE I DIDN'T MESS THINGS UP BETWEEN US!! IT WOULD BE NICE TO GO OVER TO THE HOUSE AND HELP HIM WORK ON HIS BELOVED '51 CHOPPED MERC, OR EVEN GETTING THE '34 DODGE READY FOR MY WEDDING HAD HE BEAT THAT BASTARD CANCER.
I OFTEN THINK BACK OF THE DAYS WHEN ME AND MY DAD OFTEN DISAGREED ON THINGS AND THE STUPID THINGS I USED TO DO. ALOT OF THINGS I ONLY WISHED I COULD TAKE BACK (WE DID HAVE SOME BAD ARGUEMENTS FROM TIME TO TIME) AND UNDO THE THINGS I EITHER SAID OR DID TO HIM.
IT KILLS ME INSIDE TO THINK OF THE KID I USED TO BE, NOT KNOWING HOW REGRETFUL I FEEL NOW ABOUT THE THINGS I DID...
WEIRD THING IS THAT I'M NOTHING NOW LIKE I WAS BEFORE. I MEAN; SURE I LOVE MY MUSIC AND WEIRD SHIT, BUT MY ATTITUDE ABOUT LIFE COMPLETELY CHANGED FOR THE BETTER. I'M MORE RESPONSIBLE AND REALISTIC ABOUT HOW TO LIVE LIFE. I GOT MORE LOVE TO GIVE OUT TO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, AND NOT BE SO NEGATIVE ALL THE TIME! I DO GET CRAZY SOMETIMES, BUT I DO PUT MYSELF IN CHECK WHEN I KNOW I'M GETTING OUT OF LINE. (AND IT'S ALL IN GOOD FUN)
DARCY GROWING UP HAD A ROUGH TIME. SHE WAS FORCED TO DEAL WITH HER REAL DAD FROM HER STEP-DAD'S TERMS AND THERE WAS ALOT OF DRAMA WITHIN THE FOLD. WHEN DARCY AND I FIRST STARTED DATING, SHE HADN'T SPOKEN TO HIM IN AWHILE AND I ENCOURAGED HER TO GET THE BALL ROLLING IN TERMS OF COMMUNICATING. THE ONLY REASON I DID THAT WAS BECAUSE, I REMEMBER MY DAD BEING REALLY SICK AND HE AND I WERE AT ODDS. I WISHED THAT I COULD HAVE DONE SOME THINGS DIFFERENTLY BACK THEN.
NOT A GOOD WAY TO REMEMBER MY HERO.
I JUST DIDN'T WANT THEM TO BE SILENT WITH ONE ANOTHER AND IF SOMETHING SHOULD HAPPEN...YOU GET THE IDEA!
SO THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT DARCY AND HER DAD GET ALONG GREAT!! IT MAKES ME HAPPY TO SEE THEM SMILING AND TALKING. I THINK I MADE BILL HAPPY WHEN I ASKED HIM FOR DARCY'S HAND IN MARRAGE, NOT DARCY'S STEP-DAD. HE HAD A SMILE THAT WOULD MAKE THE CHESHIRE CAT JEOLOUS!! DARCY TOLD ME THAT WHEN HER YOUNG SISTER GOT MARRIED. HE WAS INVITED, BUT ON TERMS. I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE WATCHING SOME OTHER MAN WALK HIS OWN DAUGHTER DOWN THE ISLE!I'M PROUD TO SAY THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE BILL ALLISON'S MOMENT AS WELL AS OURS!! HE'S GONNA BE (NEXT TO ME) THE HAPPIEST MAN IN THE ROOM!! IT'S GONNA BE AN HONOR TO HAVE BILL WALKING DARCY DOWN THAT AISLE TO PRESENT TO ME HIS BEAUTFUL DAUGHTER AND MY BEST FRIEND!!
(AND HOPEFULLY WITH THE STEP-DAD AND MOM OUTSIDE, NEXT TO A BIG SAMOAN BOUNCER STARING THEM DOWN!!!)
AND I'M GONNA FEEL MY DAD BEING THERE WITH A BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE!! (OCCASIONALLY CHECKING ON THE DODGE!)
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